Losing a parent, grandparent, or other close loved one is never easy. When that loss comes suddenly, it can be especially difficult for a child to understand. Children don’t always know what to do or say when a friend or loved one dies, so some kids will hide their pain. Others may be unable to express what they are going through and feel alone and upset.
When a loved one dies, it’s normal for kids to feel various emotions, from sadness to grief. Children may have a hard time coping with death, especially if they’re young. It’s important to provide a child with as many age-appropriate opportunities to process their grief, but it can be difficult to know how.
Tips to Assist a Child in Coping with the Death of a Loved One
Talk about it, then move on
Death is never easy for a child to deal with. It may happen to anyone at any time, but when death happens in your family, it can be even harder to explain. Talking about it and moving on are two different things. Talk with your kid, but don’t dwell on the sadness. Remember the good times your loved one had with you and focus on being happy for the future.
Be honest about what happened
Life is full of surprises, and when it isn’t happy surprises, they can be heartbreaking and tragic. When a loved one dies, it’s normal to have a range of emotions-from shock to denial to anger-but one thing is for sure, your priority should be your family. This means getting your kids and other family members to talk openly and honestly about what happened.
Talk about feelings
After a loved one dies, it can be difficult for children to talk about their feelings. Children may find it hard to understand what has happened and how this may affect their life. Children need to understand that death is a natural part of life. Talking about feelings is important to helping children process their emotions.
Create space
A death in the family can bring up a lot of emotions that are not easy to deal with. If a loved one has died, it can be hard on you, especially if it was unexpected. From the outside looking in, it can seem hard to process and move past the loss. As a parent, it can be overwhelming to see your child upset and feel like you cannot understand why. It is normal for your child to be unsure of how to act or react and for you as a parent to have a lot of questions, so give them some time to work through their emotions by themselves.
Recognize life is going to go on
Dealing with the death of a loved one is an overwhelming experience. As you start the grieving process, you may be tempted to dwell on the negative aspects of the loss, but it is important to try to maintain a positive attitude about life and keep moving forward. Children need to keep going about their normal routine, so ensure they still pursue their favorite sports or hobbies and keep them on track at school.
At the same time, moving on does not mean pretending that nothing has changed. Ignoring the existence of their loved one can be extremely painful for your children. Everyone should be allowed to cherish the memory of their beloved. And who knows, perhaps having a reminder of them, like an ashes diamonds ring made from the remains of the cremation, can help your kids stay connected to them. Sometimes, knowing that those who have passed will always be a part of your life, one way or another, could be comforting.
Take care of yourself
When a loved one dies, it’s normal to feel like your world has been turned upside down. You may feel like you need to escape from reality, but it’s important to recognize death’s impact on you and those around you. Get support from your own loved ones, and you’ll have more capacity to help others.
Get support from your child’s friends
If your child is struggling with the sudden death of someone they love, it is important to be supportive but also compassionate. Don’t take them away from their friends – their friends can actually provide valuable help. It might be a sad period of time, but it’s vital that they still socialize and have fun.
Find activities your child enjoys
When a child loses a loved one, it can be devastating. The child may feel a sense of betrayal, sadness, and anger. They may not understand why their loved one was taken. A child may also struggle with guilt over the death of their loved one. Children need healthy ways to experience their feelings and discover ways to let go of the hurt and anger.
Takeaways
A child will inevitably, at some point, experience the death of a loved one. Although a child’s reaction to the death of a family member may vary, it is important for adults to try to understand and answer a child’s questions. These answers need to be age-appropriate, honest and come from a place of love. Admitting that death is hard on kids can be frightening to parents. However, it can make them feel understood and could help them to talk about their feelings.